U're just right beside me but i feel so distanced..

Everyday,

i'm surrounded by people.

Friends.

Families.

Strangers.

Yet,

I feel,

So,

Alone.

I feel.

Lonely.

Waiting outside the lines

I'm so tired of living.

Sometimes, i just want to close my eyes,

drift to sleep,

and never wake up...

______________________________________________________

I think its kinda unfair. I can still say ''OH I'M TIRED OF LIVING''

But for those who don't even get the chance to choose,

between life and death..

I'm lucky to be able to choose.

To live.

Or die.

U probably don't understand what i mean.

I sometime have a hard time

expressing my feelings in words.

________________________________________________

16th January 2011

Xian , Me, May, Jia Hui, Evan,

Hau, Wuan Yett

threw Jamie a suprise birthday party.

It was amazing.

Despite having 3 of the balloons popped

before jian mae even got the chance to see it,

and having the 7Up dropped on the road

twice, it was a beautiful success.

Its not something u'd call perfect,

but we tried our best to make it work

in just 2 days sooo yeah :))

<3>

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My relative passed away yesterday.

I wonder how she felt.

Her last moment living.

What was it like.

Was it painful for her?

She had lived a wonderful life

being a amazing women in every of our lives.

She was such a loveable women.

Strong and always smiling

Regardless of the fact that she is fighting

THREE cancers, she never failed to put on her

dazzling smile.

May she go someplace better :)

Like Heaven.

She deserves it.

____________________________________________

U'll never enjoy ur life..

Living inside a box..

You're so afraid of taking chances..

How u gonna reach the top?

__________________________________________________

xx

Sigh, LIFE.

I guess this is life for students nowadays.
Study, Learn a music instrument, Eat, Bath, Sleep, Camwhore (ahem ,only me i guess xDD), Go To several tuition centres, do my school homework, practice the music instrument, do my homework for music instrument i'm learning.......to fit all this in one week, its really hectic and tiring. Really. I'm physically and mentally tired of all this... School just started again and i've already got sick. Wonder if i'll get stroke and die after several months of this?

We'll just have to wait and see.

Today Pn.Iryani changed our places. Bernice moved away. I'm still not used to it. After Mandarin class today, when we went back to our class, i was like wondering why isn't Bernice sitting down yet. Where's she. Then later Atiqah came to sit, then i remembered, OH, Bernice isn't sitting here anymore. Haha, because my seat is still the same so yeahh.

This Atiqah girl, don't really talk. Shows no sign of talking interest. So yeah. I guess i'll be able to concentrate on my studies more with no one to talk to T__T

I feel tired. Mentally and physically tiredddd. Seriously. I can feel it in my bones and nerves and everything. My nerve impulses are sending to my brain impulses that i'm tired and the response from my brain is rest. Then it makes me sleepy then diu, i cant sleep! So i had to suffer and fight off the sleepiness. KESIAN RIGHTTTT D;

And my piano homework , I NO TIME WEI DIU I HAVE LIKE TUITION EVERYNIGHT AND YEAH I KNOW I'M BLOGGING HERE BUT IF I'M DOING MY HW LIKE ALL THE TIME, I'LL ACTUALLY FAINT. Sigh. Homework have to rush in school. Lunch have to eat like pig. If i still have homework , then i have to squeeze it in in the afternoon and go tuition at night. Then if i haven't iron my uniform, i have to iron when i get back (I DONT HAVE MAID LIKE U GUYS DO OK!?!?!). Weekends i have tuition and homework. Taken up one day. Left my Sunday, I NEED TO DO MY SHOPPING ONE OK! but NO! I have to wash my shoes or iron my uniform or stuff like this. Having a maid really have a difference. Makes me more independant. But its suicidal.. hahah. no la. I'm just exaggerating. wont die yetttt. Need a few more years laaa. So dont so happy yettt :P

Hmm. THEN i need time to learn my DSLR somemore. I'm such a amateur now. Need to brushen up my skills. And all the things Swee Lyn told me to do. Editing, memorize the ISO for certain conditions, Aperture and Shutter.....................................
2011, die lo. sure die. somemore if i get to be a prefect...hoho..hahahaha, hohohohoh u'll find me dead on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my mouth one day. XD

People are going crazy over Justin Bieber's concert coming soon. Psshh. OMG HOW I MET UR MOTHER IS STARTING I GTG I GTG BARNEY I LOVE UUUUUU WAIT FOR MEEEE!!!!!!!!

Okay, in the previous post i say i'd post bout 4th jan. but on the second thought, nahh, i'm lazy x)

2011 = tuition for 5 days straight. 1 day for piano. one Sunday for revision and homework. Life is greeattt! Not to mention i put my name on the list of prefects. yay. this just keeps getting better.

Hahhh, first week of school finally came to an end. It feels kinda quick now tho.. Just the first week and it already took away a great deal of energy.

Imma be a good girl this year. A good girl. A goody goody girl. Because good things happen when u're a good girl right...? hmmm.

But ppl say, once a bad girl, always a bad girl, haha, guess imma gonna change that aren't i :)

This year, i'm gonna master the settings on my D90. This year, i'm gonna study hard. oh yeah (Y)

Somebody threw a Pepsi at me today. It didn't hurt. Thank God it was a soft drink.

:') Bye

Haunted

You and i, walk a fragile line,
I have known it all this time

but i never thought i'd live to see it break

___________________________________________________________________

Yo yo yooo! Konnichiwa :))
I just realised i haven't blogged about 3 & 4th Jan 2011 , yeahhh. A new different yearr!
Well its SUPPOSED to be different, but its almost all the same. But its still too early to judge. Most ppl in my school still have the same faces and attitude -__- Several new transfer student (i don't get why on earth they move to this school, its either no school accepts them or they live nearby so they kena force come here )

The form 1 students. Mygoodness. As nerdy as any kid can be. ALL SO SHORT AND SMALL. What is happening to our generations?? Their mother when having them in the tummy not enough nutrients is it?? Or or they kena abuse?? Or or they no food? Haihhh. Oh well.

Sorry for dissing u, form 1's ><

Anyways, Pn Iryani is our form teacher :) My god her natural eyelashes are gorgeous!!!

I miss Ms.Foo :'( I miss Cikgu Amila!!!! D;

Sigh , laughing at our science teacher's rottenly broken english was nice tho :)
Hahaha , cant believe i'm saying this but Cikgu Azmahani's eng is better :D

Having Thierry and Damien in the class is definitely enlightening. They bright up the class with laughters but sometimes they should know their limits :) But they are still really funny.

I miss our old teachers. I mean our teachers now, Pn Salmanja?! Seriously...so unlucky.

It's sad that i couldn't get Pn Zuraini as my bm teacher, but i'm sure Pn Iryani is good too :))

Pn Salmanja, i'm sure all those gedik gedik nye malay girls sure bodek her like shit. This type of teacher should be more strict to gain student's respect. See now the student doesn't respect her and treat her like friends and when she's in class, they don't bother to shut up. This way they can't study. I hope her teaching is ok? Hrmmm.

After the first day of school , fever striked me T__T During the last period i started having headaches but isn't that wat usually happens when the class is too noisy? Hahah :P

Well, i went home as usual, i TOLD my mum specificly after school i wanna go Bao Bao for lunch. But later in the car she said my grandma's cooking. So i said okay lo, go home eat. so i went home, i see on the table, ONLY LADY'S FINGERS. I was like WTF. Same ol' thing man. The last time she was here, she also like that, SAY WANNA COOK FOR US, BUT NOT CAPABLE TO COOK IN TIME, THEN DONT COOK!!! I dah la sakit kepala kat sana, i see this, i tak tahan i grab a hotdog bread masuk bilik makan. My body started feeling hot but memang all this while i dunno how to see if i've got fever cause my body is always panas one. Then the headache got worse. I asked my mum to touch my head and she say i got fever. So i just normal la. I have piano later, but since my fever not that bad yet, i pun relax la. I wanted to do piano , but but around 3 , my head got really bad, i called my piano teacher and canceled. Then i go sleep :DD But cant sleep! so i continued wrapping my textbooks i couldn't finish the previous night x)

Wrap wrap wrap wrap, then suddenly my head hurts alot. So i go lie down. Then ter fell asleep :D Then dunno at what time, my mum woke me up to eat my med. Then i straight sleep again. Hahaha, sleep sleep sleeppp till 8pm++ , i go out eat porridge for like 2 mins only! I ate while standing at the sink so i can cepat cepat wash it then turun. After washing my plate i went down to take my exercise books and the book list for bernice. Oh and my water bottle.

Then then blah blah blah, oh webcammed with my bro's japanese fren, szezuke. He's cute :3 He's got a sweet smile :)

Our whole family webcammed with him la, so funny the convo :D

Then i tido d.... then..

ahhh continue 4th Jan in next post. HAVE TUITION LATER! Chiaooo

Taylor Swift - Haunted

Its like THE best song she's every sang. The song i love most from her. It just gets me jamming. And i'd start singing aloud with it. Really loud. It's so emotional and its such a great song to sing and listen... Wow. Great song. Really. Go listen to it if u haven't yet!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_B0VtIlnmVY - Her Acoustic version

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61uaG2CalOg - The Album version

By far her best song among all her albums :)

Very different and mature

Btw, most of the songs of haunted in Youtube had to be re-pitched for copyright, so some of it might make her sound like a kid or a chipmunk. The ones i gave u was more to her real voice? I guess. Anyways, enjoy :))

NO CHICKEN, PORK, BEEF, BACON

2011 is a year where me and my sis are not eating animal meat anymore :D

No, not vegetarian as we still eat, fish and prawns. But i don't really like prawns so yeah, i eat fish :)

We're going on a serious controlled but healthy diet :)

No, this time, no joke, we are sticking to it :D

Can't wait to lose some weight. Hope i do :))

Ppl shouldn't starve. Eat healthy :)

Exercise! I hope i can find time to exercise :\

Wanna lose 3 kg ;P

Tata.

Just my personal opinion yeah :)

Band of the month should be Muse (Y)

I love their accents! Frigging sexy. When they won the AMA's this year (i mean last year since its 2011 now) , when they gave their speech, i was like omg and drooling over them. :P

Not to mention all 3 of them and kinda handsome :)

Not the hottest but they are good looking ;D

Male artist of the month should be Bon Jovi (Y) (Y) (Y)

He is like, legendary!!! No no, rather, Legen....wait for itttt.....DARY! boom. There goes Barney Stinson's quote :D Haaa, i love quoting Barney :') Oh wait, back to Bon Jovi.

He is like the country rock and roll. Sad that ppl are rooting for Bieber instead of Jovi ==

He is old, but he is still incredibly HOT.

Female aritist of the month should be.....errr Taylor Swift?

I duno , all the singers i mentioned above are like old great singers but taylor swift is young and her songs are nice :) Not exactly a big fan of her's but she's okay. Her songs are good. So yeah. Can't think of other artists so i'm gonna go with Taylor Swift for this one xDD

The Band Perry and Paramore are my personal favs :))

DJ earworm is awesome too! His mashups and remix are just fantastic.

The joy of not having it all

Sometimes, it's good to not have everything we want.

If we get anything we want, we'd still feel empty, unsatisfied.

Because we'll have everything, and there's nothing we can't have.

There won't be a challenge, it won't be fun.

Therefore, in my opinion, humans can never be content nor satisfied.

So rather than feeling sorry for what u have, feel grateful instead.

Nobody can have everything they want.

True, u'd fell empty once in a while for not being able to have

things others have.

But at the end of the day, u'd still have a life, a home,

a family, love, food. That's probably everything u'll need in life.

What else can we ask for?

Humans musn't be pampered.

They'll turn into spoilt brats. Monsters.

I agree, i do whine about things i can't have, things

my parents couldn't provide, but look,

i'm still well and alive aren't i? :)

Though having hair that grows faster wouldn't hurt *wink*

Heheh :)

Be happy and live your life.

New Year's pathetic pics of me and sis :)

Kissy kissy face. Hahahah.

Daddy's Merlot :)

Have i mentioned? I desperately love my owl necklace :D

F-f-flowers for u?

LOOK HOW CHUBBY MY FACE IS. LOOK HOW BLACK MY EYE BAGS IS D;

Lol, we're highhh :)

Happy New Year folks!

Today is the second day of 2011

Time passes too fast! Really.

Hmmm. In just a blink of an eye, i've already wasted soo much time!

New Year's eve sucked! Parents went to bed, left me and my sis. We opened our dad's Merlot wine and drank. After several cups, my face turned red, my eyes were bloodshot. And i was a liiiltle dizzy. Just a bit :)

I'm so happy my alcohol resistance is so much better than my sis xD

Anyways, watched Wild Child then after the show, we dressed up fancy and walked around the house in heels xD now that i think of it, i feel retarded but it was fun. Kinda. Hahah, ppl out there either sleeping or playing firecrackers yet we're home playing dress up . Hahahahha.

______________________________________________________________________

31st Dec 2010 , I GOT MY PHONE BACK! :DD Sent it to Madeline's dad for repair. RM175 gone just like that because of my fking battery wire. SCREW IT. Wanna save for diana but end up my money gone like that T___T huuuhuuuu.

____________________________________________________________________

1st Jan 2011 , Ironed my uniforms, went 1U to Popular and do my mum some grocery shopping. Went Jaya Grocer after, bought jelly powder :DDD!!

Made jelly in the evening. After dinner, took it out and eat, SUCCESS! Not to gloat but it was niceeee!! :D :D 8)

Hahaha, daddy wasn't home yet, so we sent him a picture message of our jelly :3

He said it looked like smth from the dumpster! But it looks good la pleassee~

When daddy got back from work around 1am (he had a dinner event or smth~work) , i waited up for him and cut him a slice of our jelly :D He loved it :)) Say next time we must make again <33

___________________________________________________________________

Today, i have to get ready for so many things!!! )):

Fill my water bottle, wrap my textbooks and exercise books (YES I HAVEN'T WRAPPED IT YET!) , prepare my pencilbox and stationaries, shoe white my school shoe ...... omg...

I DON'T EVEN KNOW TIMETABLE! D:

Yi Sheng knows -,- Gonna call pn Loi and ask :D :D :D

____________________________________________________________________

Hmm hmm hmmmmmm. I think i'm excited to study and write again, but not excited that i'm going back to Tropicana. So depressing la.. knowing its the same ol' shit hole smktropz.

My life is so screwed up T___T Screw the goverment la. Damn my mum for not letting me apply for BU4 in the first place when i was 12. OMG I DAMN PISSED NOW.

urggghhhhh.

When i turn 18 , i'm gonna do wat i like, what i wan, go where i want and do wat 'I' wanna do. Emphasize on the 'I'.

Now, i feel like a void.

___________________________________________________________________

May 2011 be a better year :D

Oh who am i kidding == this year is gonna suck like any other year.

____________________________________________________________________

New Year Resolution :

10. I HAVE TO STOP SAYING SO MUCH VULGAR WORDS. This is also in my New Year Resolution list every year :) Hahah, sometimes i DO say lesser of it. but somedays, when i'm really pissed, i say it :S So conclusion is, i'll always say bad words. But not so much of it la ;)

ok lazy type d. hehe chao!

i hope someday , i won't be so lazy, and post my thailand, penang, s'pore, jelly , things i bought pics :DD Hahahah. Chiaaoo!

<3